10.14.2008
Hugs are better than [anything]
Kent started hugging us for the first time today, which is just indescribable joy for a mom (and a dad, I hear). He got such a kick out of wrapping his little arms around our necks and squeezing. He just kept giggling and saying/signing "more" and wanting to do it again. I feel quite lucky at the moment.
Another reminder of how blessed I am was that I FINALLY, after almost 3 weeks (?), got to catch up with my mom on the phone today. That was way too long to go without contact, and there wasn't really a reason other than the fact that we're both so swamped. I kept thinking about the Gilmore Girls episode when Rory and Lorelai are playing phone tag for days, both needing to talk to the other about major things going on, and they each end up crying in the arms of another friend because they miss each other so much. I wasn't crying yet, but I was feeling very separated from her life, wanting to know how her new teaching job was going and also just wanting to hear her voice. We never get past that connection to our moms, do we? I hope not.
I think I'll be more excited than usual tomorrow, when Kent wakes up at 6 or 6:30, because a new day of hugging will commence. Some Wednesdays, it's really hard to send him off to school, when I just want to keep him all to myself instead. I do need some time to finish some of the weird diss things I've been writing this week that are rolling around on the page, unable to be tacked down. Being in my own head space for this much time during the past week has been heavenly, because Progress is happening, but it's also like Tim Gunn's analogy to the fashion designers about the monkey house at the zoo. You first go into the monkey house, and you think, "Wow, it really STINKS in here," but after a while, you start to notice the smell less, until eventually it just smells normal to you. Of course, someone from the outside would still come in and say, "Wow, it really STINKS in here," and you'd be like, "Hmm, I hadn't noticed." This is what it's like to be creative in isolation, then share with the outside world. No monkey poop, no monkey poop... maybe that will be my new mantra.
I started off talking about delicious little boy hugs, and I ended up at monkey poop? See? This is what can happen in a dissertation. Let that be a lesson to you all.
Another reminder of how blessed I am was that I FINALLY, after almost 3 weeks (?), got to catch up with my mom on the phone today. That was way too long to go without contact, and there wasn't really a reason other than the fact that we're both so swamped. I kept thinking about the Gilmore Girls episode when Rory and Lorelai are playing phone tag for days, both needing to talk to the other about major things going on, and they each end up crying in the arms of another friend because they miss each other so much. I wasn't crying yet, but I was feeling very separated from her life, wanting to know how her new teaching job was going and also just wanting to hear her voice. We never get past that connection to our moms, do we? I hope not.
I think I'll be more excited than usual tomorrow, when Kent wakes up at 6 or 6:30, because a new day of hugging will commence. Some Wednesdays, it's really hard to send him off to school, when I just want to keep him all to myself instead. I do need some time to finish some of the weird diss things I've been writing this week that are rolling around on the page, unable to be tacked down. Being in my own head space for this much time during the past week has been heavenly, because Progress is happening, but it's also like Tim Gunn's analogy to the fashion designers about the monkey house at the zoo. You first go into the monkey house, and you think, "Wow, it really STINKS in here," but after a while, you start to notice the smell less, until eventually it just smells normal to you. Of course, someone from the outside would still come in and say, "Wow, it really STINKS in here," and you'd be like, "Hmm, I hadn't noticed." This is what it's like to be creative in isolation, then share with the outside world. No monkey poop, no monkey poop... maybe that will be my new mantra.
I started off talking about delicious little boy hugs, and I ended up at monkey poop? See? This is what can happen in a dissertation. Let that be a lesson to you all.
Labels: dissertation land, family, Kent, what to watch
- posted by erica 10/14/2008 10:13:00 PM
-
