1.15.2009
in my headspace, frankly
What do you do when the career path you've put yourself on seems not to matter so much anymore? Or when what you've been planning to do isn't actually going to help the world or solve any problems, and you'd rather spend your life on *those* things? Or when your advisor is cross with you for not being the kind of scholar he is, but you're starting not to care?
Labels: observations
- posted by erica 1/15/2009 08:51:00 PM
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Comments:
Ouch! That's got to be disheartening, given the amount of time you've invested. And maybe you didn't really mean "What do you do..." but here are some problem-solving ideas:
1) Make a T chart with reasons under these headings:
Why Should Go On and Finish? and Why Shouldn't I Stop Now?
2) Talk with someone who can be somewhat objective but who also cares about you
3) Try to figure out whether there's some version of the career path that would let you "make a difference" in the world.
(I know, I know. Usually MEN are the ones who offer suggestions when you really just need someone to listen, but I read the Mars/Venus book backwards.)
(Love, Mom)
1) Make a T chart with reasons under these headings:
Why Should Go On and Finish? and Why Shouldn't I Stop Now?
2) Talk with someone who can be somewhat objective but who also cares about you
3) Try to figure out whether there's some version of the career path that would let you "make a difference" in the world.
(I know, I know. Usually MEN are the ones who offer suggestions when you really just need someone to listen, but I read the Mars/Venus book backwards.)
(Love, Mom)
I know what you mean! I had great intentions to start a music therapy practice (I even have business cards!), but now I manage to find lots of excuses not to. Sometimes I have loads of guilt about my 4 years at Queens not being used to their full potential. Let me know what you figure out. . .
You say to yourself, "That's okay. It's normal to feel tis way." I read your blog and the themes I am left with are: you really enjoy being a mom, you really enjoy cooking and you really enjoy being creative and love crafts. Is it the program you are in? Is it the field or do you just want to move in another direction?
# posted by 
: Fri Jan 16, 10:20:00 AM EST
: Fri Jan 16, 10:20:00 AM EST
Ah, Erica. I have this internal debate fairly frequently, although I did not invest myself in a doctoral program. It is part of the reason I was inspired to start my website for people with spina bifida (which I am very excited about, by the way). My Bible study at the Presby church is doing an awesome chapter right now about our "part" in the great narrative of life. There are some interesting points in there- one of which is that we often misunderstand our gifts. We sometimes think the things that bring us the greatest joy (volunteering, crafting, mothering) are just "hobbies" or unimportant work. However, it is God that gives us that true joy that we experience, and he may be trying to lead us into new paths through that joy. Also, we tend to segment our lives in a way that restricts us from letting our gifts and joy overflow into every area of our life. Jobs, home, and spiritual life are sometimes separated in ways that rob us of joy. The trick is finding the balance between all of these areas and using your gifts (or the things that bring you true joy) in every aspect of your life.
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