A little something to say...

We're having another baby!

The baby is due around February 6, and we'll be finding out the sex again, probably around September unless our midwife decides to do it earlier. Yep, that's right, midwife. I didn't have a bad experience with my OB, but I do think that a lot of doctors (mine included) tend to look at pregnancy and childbirth as something that's automatically dangerous and that should be scheduled/intervened if possible, rather than celebrating the birth of a child and facilitating what our bodies are meant to do. We have our first appointment with her on Thursday; I've heard such good things about this midwife and the others in her group that I made an appointment with her without even having met her. We'll still be birthing at a hospital, since the nearest birthing center is over an hour away in Lafayette, but I'm optimistic, especially since I had a low-intervention birth (i.e., no pain killers) with Kent at another hospital and know even more about what to expect from my body this time. This hospital, unlike the one where Kent was born, even has tubs for the mommies to use during labor. Woohoo!

So how am I feeling? Excited, but simultaneously rotten because I am in the First Trimester Land of Blah. The first week or so, I was mostly just tired, but then the slight nausea and general apathy toward food began, just as it had with my first pregnancy. What a great time to be getting baskets of produce from our CSA every week, when I barely feel like cooking most of the time! Our CSA season will end at the end of July, right around the time I start to feel better. Ironic, eh?

I've been jotting down a few thoughts in my journal and have been amazed at how differently I'm thinking about pregnancy now that I know how it ends and what's in store when we meet our little baby next winter. For example, instead of taking the pregnancy test at home, first thing in the morning, with Jack waiting dutifully out in the living room, I peed on a stick in the handicapped stall of Target with Kent standing right there. I had bought the test while I was doing some shopping and letting Jack get work done in their coffeeshop, and I thought, "You know, I really don't need to wait until I get home!" So I didn't. After I read the result, then was nearly the victim of a serious prank as Kent tried to open the stall door before my pants were zipped, I walked over to where Jack was sitting and plopped the test down in front of his laptop to tell him the news. There's not quite as much magic the second time, but it's still incredibly special in a different, more comfortable way.

There's such a small "unknown" factor this time, whereas when I was pregnant the first time, everything was new and weird. I'm able to reflect in a much more seasoned way this time, a bit like rereading a good novel. Here are some of my thoughts from today:

I think the Very Hungry Caterpillar would understand what it's like to be pregnant. He's constantly hungry, so he eats a lot of fruit, and then when he's still hungry, he eats a whole bunch of crap until he feels sick, and then finally he transforms into a new creation and will never go back to what he was. Motherhood is like that.


You realize that pregnancy is like no other time in your life when you find yourself craving ginger ale, so your husband suddenly pulls over so that you can go into a convenience store to get some, and then when you can't find ginger ale, you walk out holding an ice cream sandwich instead. And you haven't eaten or even wanted an ice cream sandwich in about four years.


Our church's choir director, Lois, another woman from the choir named Leslie, and their two beautiful daughters sang today's anthem, which was a lovely harmonized arrangement of "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing." Jack and I sat in the choir loft because there was no space in the sanctuary by the time we arrived, so we got to watch them instead of just hearing them as we usually would. Leslie and her daughter Rosa stood next to each other, Leslie with her hand on Rosa's back, and Lois and her daughter Johanna did virtually the same thing, being physically close and affectionate and then blending all of their voices together. It was a beautiful testament to mothers and daughters, and I looked at them and thought, "That's why I want a daughter." I'm letting myself want a girl this time. Before I knew that Kent was a boy, I knew I would love to have a daughter, but I was so burned by my recent miscarriage that I feared wanting anything other than a healthy full-term baby. I feel so blessed to have him that I no longer worry what I would do with a son. I know what I'd do — I would have two brothers who love each other and who bring me immense joy. But I'm letting myself want a daughter anyway, and if our new baby is a boy, it's a boy. The miracle of children is that we expand our hearts to love them in whatever form they join us, whether by birth or adoption, whether boy or girl, healthy or sick, whether they're what we expected or wildly different from any mental image we ever had.

I can't wait to see Kent as a big brother. He seems to understand that there's a baby in my belly, though I doubt any almost-2-year-old *really* understands what that means. He'll point to my belly and say, "Baby come OUT!" at which point I generally remind him that the baby has to grow and that he'll get to meet his little brother or sister soon enough. As the time gets closer, we plan to do a lot more to ease his transition into big brotherhood, but right now, it's still fairly abstract for all of us. Incidentally, if any of you has a suggestion for books/websites geared toward non-first-time parents, with info about introducing siblings or even "refresher" info about what to expect during your second pregnancy when it's not so much of a mystery, I'd really appreciate it.

Since Kent's pseudonym was "X" before we found out he was a boy, we had to pick another pseudonym for this baby. Jack suggested "Beta," and I found it appropriately nerdy. So s/he will be referred to as Beta until we know more about the identity of our tiny babe.

Baby. Again. Happy.

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Ohmygosh!!! Congratulations, Angerts! Beta is going to have a blast when he/she joins the three of you.
Yay! Congratulations! Zack and I are very excited for your family!
Sweetness! Congrats to you three.4
I love you (both singular and plural) and I love you post. Life sure brings lessons and satisfactions in all kinds of ways. Happy pregnancy!
I love the Hungry Caterpillar idea... Yay! and happy baby growing. See you all soon!
I was laughing so hard about taking the pregnancy test at Target story. I knew with the second one I took fewer tests to confirm my pregnancy. :-D
Congratulations! And I hear you on the girl thing, and for the exact same reason. I have a bond with my mother that I would love to have with my own daughter. We'll see in about a week and a half! Unfortunately, I have figured out that for me the first trimester draggy blahs have not gone away this time, as they did the first time. Hopefully, this will not happen for you!
Horray! Congrats again!
Congratulations! We are so happy for all of you! Love, Lisa, Joel and Leonor
HooooooRAY, Erca! Congrats to you and Jack and Big Bro Kent. I can't wait to hear all the new stories you'll have to tell!
(And don't hate me for not-so-secretly hoping it's a little legacy.)
Wooohooo, wooohooo, woohooo, etc. ect.
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